March 9th, 2010 08:00am

Ticking clocks

by WineCountry.Mom

“Four years?!?” I exclaimed when Mr. W and I first brought up talk of moving in with each other a month or two ago. We were both too scared to even mention the “M” word, but my sister’s recent visit to introduce her fiancé had me reeling and questioning my own life. While we’ve been together for 1.5 years, Mr. W and I are in agreement that neither one of us wants to give up our homes in the now. We both love being together, and spend every weekend with each other. But we also enjoy having our own place to come home to at night. We enjoy that quiet time of not having to speak if we don’t want to. Frankly, we are still enjoying our independence way too much to combine our homes and our families. Besides, one of us (most likely me) would be moving from our home town to reside in the other’s town. That would mean uprooting the kids from their schools and their friends, and having a much longer commute every day. It’s not an easy change either of us wanted to make in the present.

But when I brought up future talk that involved moving in together, he mentioned that it most likely won’t happen until after his son graduates high school. And since his son is a freshman….

“Four years?!?” (more…)

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March 8th, 2010 12:36pm

Wedding Bells

by WineCountry.Mom

As the weather turns from gloomy to a cautious warmth of sun, long winter coats give way for tank tops and skirts, and the birds start building their nests and preparing for a family on the way, springtime brings forth twitterpated hopes and dreams of wedding bells on the horizon. It seems like everywhere I turn, someone is getting engaged or is already planning the party of a lifetime to celebrate their union with the one they love. One of my best friends is getting married this August and has been sharing the details of food tastings, venue shoppings, and the adventure of finding the perfect wedding gown that will make her a princess for a day. My sister met the man of her dreams 6 months ago and, because they just knew, they are now planning their own wedding slated for next summer. Even my sister’s roommate is in on the season of weddings and became engaged and then married all in one week. Wedding bells are being sounded far and near, and even the most happily single person is being affected by the siren of this marriage call.

I’ll admit it, I also am hearing this siren call. It’s hard not to be when I am literally surrounded by joyous announcements and Pachelbel Canon in D. I’ve been divorced for 6 years, and it is definitely a hope of mine to one day be walking down that aisle to join the man I am destined to be with forever. But having been divorced, it is also my desire not to rush into anything with my eyes closed, and then go through another bitter divorce. Nevertheless, the sudden influx of wedding announcements has placed engagement rings and honeymoons on the brain. And it has spurred marriage talk between me and Mr. W. (more…)

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March 2nd, 2010 11:59am

First Kiss

by WineCountry.Mom

Over the weekend, while my texting tween was hunched over her cell phone, she paused long enough to ask me if she could go over to the house of this new “friend” to hang out. I agreed, thinking that it was no different than when she went over to one of her other guy friend’s house. Her first guy friend had been friends with her since 1st grade, and for several years had even considered themselves best friends. I had gotten to know this kid well, as well as his family. And there had never been any reason to not let them hang out. But after I agreed to let my daughter hang out with this new “friend”, I immediately regretted the words. Why? My daughter was a tomboy, naturally drawn to being one of the guys at school, and chatting with her guy pals on Facebook. So what was causing me to bristle at the thought of her hanging out with one of the guys? For one, it was the way they had been texting back and forth consistently for the past several days. Two, it was the way she lit up, eager to talk up his good points every time I asked a few innocent questions about who he was, what he liked, his intentions for my daughter, plans for the future, and what his parents did for a living. You know, innocent. Three, she was getting to the age when male-female friendships developed into something more than just hanging out, and I wasn’t sure that I had counseled her enough on matters of the heart and the art of being chaste. Most of all, it was that I didn’t even know this kid or his parents. (more…)

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TAGS , , , | CATEGORY As a Parent...., Case of the Terrible Tweens, Kid Issues

February 8th, 2010 01:06pm

Holiday of love, or of dread?

by WineCountry.Mom

When I was a kid, Valentine’s Day was a holiday to look forward to. It was a treat to wake up on Valentine’s Day to see what surprises were left for us at our place on the kitchen table. While most mornings were littered with pleas from us to wait “5 more minutes” before we got up, Valentine’s Day was treated much like Christmas – we were up before the sun. At the table there would be three places set with a little chocolate box, some candy hearts, a Valentine’s Day card, a Pez dispenser, and a new pair of Valentine’s Day socks. Sometimes there would be a little trinket, like a heart shaped glass bead on a chain or a little box with some gold coins on it. But always, there was the surprise of small treats that meant the world for us. After a breakfast of heart-shaped pancakes, we would grab our bag of homemade valentines for our classmates, excited for a day when we received at least 30 new valentines. At the end of the day our bellies would be full of candy and cookies, and our teeth coated with the sugar of little confectioner’s hearts that had messages of “Be mine” and “XOXO”. Then we would read through every single valentine to see if there was some hidden message between the lines of Garfield proclaiming his love for lasagna on a folded piece of pink paper that the cutest boy sent out to every girl in the class.

As adults, Valentine’s Day gets much harder. (more…)

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TAGS , , | CATEGORY Adventures in Single Parent Dating, holidays

December 10th, 2009 04:01pm

Meeting others when you are a single parent

by WineCountry.Mom

A single dad emailed me earlier today and had the age old question about how to meet single women when they seem so scarce and unavailable. I answered him to the best of my abilities, but I am hoping that YOU, the reader, will have some suggestions on how to meet singles in the area. Dear Crissi One topic of interest to me is the exodus of 30 something families and singles … Read More »

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October 6th, 2009 01:52pm

Single Parent Dating: Online Dating

by WineCountry.Mom

What do I want? That was the question that first popped into my head when I was ready to get back into the world of relationships. What do I want? And how am I going to get that kind of man? I had no idea how to meet people. It seemed like the whole world was already paired up and that I was more alone as a single woman than … Read More »

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September 29th, 2009 02:43pm

Dating as a Single Parent, Pt 2

by WineCountry.Mom

When I first got divorced I swore it would be a long time before I dated again. Having been through such a nightmare towards the end of my marriage, I was done with men for awhile. I was looking forward to being independent and free, to focusing only on my kids, and to learn how to enjoy life as an entity of one. I had this vision of being someone … Read More »

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September 28th, 2009 12:35pm

Dating as a Single Parent, Pt 1

by WineCountry.Mom

“How did you find time to date as a single mom?” Mr. Wonderful asked me one evening as we took in the stars on his back porch. I love that we can have these kinds of conversations, understanding that there was life before the two of us became a couple. And it was a valid question. My ex was not in the picture for much of my single parenting life. … Read More »

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TAGS , , , | CATEGORY Adventures in Single Parent Dating, Co-Parenting, Single Parenting