Comments on: The Terrible Tweens

By: Str4y

Str4y — Wed, 19 May 2010 18:43:27 +0000

Trying to stay mostly on topic here, but I would like to respond to the comment that ‘a lot of kids don’t distinguish between good and bad attention’.

That’s true. I’ve seen it. Primarily among kids who DON’T get GOOD attention so seek to get attention any way they can…if a child doesn’t get love and affection from their parents it is very common for them to begin acting out in order to at least get an acknowledgment of their existence. But children who receive regular POSITIVE attention from their parents rarely find it necessary to resort to such measures, and bad attention is, properly, something to be dreaded. If the average child could not distinguish between good and bad attention, then upbraiding them for improper behavior would certainly be way out, as they would see it as a reward for their actions, no?

Anyway, if anything, I would think that a tween being compared to her own mother in her mother’s blog might be turned OFF similar future behavior, rather than encouraged to engage in said behavior again.

By: WineCountry.Mom

WineCountry.Mom — Wed, 19 May 2010 18:09:49 +0000

Hey all, just a reminder that comments should be on topic and not aimed at insulting each other.

By: Kristin

Kristin — Wed, 19 May 2010 04:02:44 +0000

Hey 10:54, just out of curiosity, are YOU a child psychologist? Yeah I didn’t think so. So maybe shut your trap and go read someone else’s blog if you have a problem with this one. Thanks very much.

By: WineCountry.Mom

WineCountry.Mom — Tue, 18 May 2010 23:36:53 +0000

My kids know about it, and occasionally read it. My tween reads many of the posts since they publish to Facebook, and yes, she has a Facebook. My son, at 9, knows about it but doesn’t read it unless it gets published in the newspaper. As far as them acting up to get in my blog, uh no. The truth is they’re good kids who act up occasionally just like any kid their age.

By: Single Mom Seeking

Single Mom Seeking — Tue, 18 May 2010 23:02:56 +0000

First, thanks so much for commenting on my blog. (And, yep, I understand… from one mom of a tween to another!)

The one comment above appear rather harsh to me. I’m curious: do your kids know about your blog? Do you share what you write about?

I hear LOTS of opinions about this… and I’m very curious.

By: James

James — Tue, 18 May 2010 19:47:50 +0000

10:54, you honestly believe a girl DQ’s age is acting out to gain some kind of fame or notoriety on her mothers blog? Apparently you are not clear on how kids these days view the internet. She most likely has a facebook page, a twitter, a myspace, YouTube channel, etc.. Images and stories about her appearing online are about as exciting to her (and her friends) as watching paint dry. Odds are, the majority of her peers aren’t even aware of this blogs existence. WineCountryMom has never made herself out to be an authority on parenting, she is simply sharing her day-to-day experiences — good and bad. She will often times impart some advice or suggestions, but (like today) she also asks other parents for opinions or thoughts. Suggesting that her kids will “act out” simply to be the subject of her blog is kind of silly.

By: WineCountry.Mom

WineCountry.Mom — Tue, 18 May 2010 18:46:59 +0000

I hear what you’re saying. And I totally get it, and thank you for your constructive concern. They’re getting to an age when I have to be really sensitive about what I include in here. With that said, what I put in here is about 10% of what our lives really entails. And when I put posts like this in here, it’s for other parents of tweens to be able to know that, no, they’re not alone, and to get feedback for myself and other tween’s parents to learn how to handle this change we’re going through. Also, know that what I write here is not just the bad, but the good also. Believe me, I get flack on the good posts too because I am “bragging” about them. This particular post was mainly a musing on how I gave my parents hell when I was a kid, and now I get to see the beginning stages of what they must have gone through with me.

By: Crissi....???

Crissi....??? — Tue, 18 May 2010 05:54:31 +0000

Crissi, you really need to speak with a child psychologist and get some professional feedback regarding this blog and whether you may be glorifying negative behavior on the part of your children. You may be doing them both long term damage at the expense of a blog entry. In this specific case, a lot of kids do not distinguish between positive and negative attention, they simply see it all as attention. You should really ask yourself what the purpose of this entry was.

By: str4y

str4y — Tue, 18 May 2010 04:20:21 +0000

Wow.
You guys are so much more rebellious than I ever was. Of course, I lived in the country, so I couldn’t get into THAT much trouble, even if I wanted to…