When I was growing up, my mom (having been subjected to an overuse of it herself) did her best to avoid the ‘because I said so’ response, and to explain why she came to her decision, sometimes even backtracking and changing her mind if it came to light that her refusal or insistence that I do something might have been hasty or that she might not have seen all the facets of the situation. I appreciate the fact that she used this tactic.

However, despite the fact that I was (believe it or not) a pretty darned tractable and well-behaved daughter who was not fond of arguing, there were still times that she had to pull the parental trump card. Though there were times I was sure that she was simply put on the planet to make my life miserable, and that there was no way in which her age and experience could possibly hold up to my own teenage virtue of knowing absolutely everything, I grudgingly accepted in later years that she may have actually had the right of it…at least once in a while.

I guess what I am saying is that it’s important to be fair and show your children that you listen to their concerns, and to let them make their own mistakes when that which hangs in the balance is not too heavy a burden for them to bear…but that there are times that the family democracy cedes to parental dictatorship–times when the matter involves health or safety, or their education, or some other thing that young adults don’t grasp the ramifications of, and won’t until they are grown and have the responsibilities you do now. You can be assured that they will hate you for it from time to time, and tell their friends how you are crueler than Cinderella’s step-mother and step-sisters all combined, but you can also be positive that later in life they will understand your reasons and appreciate the guidance you gave.