I was getting ready to leave the gym after my morning workout. I was hot and sweaty, but felt more alive than I had since waking. I grabbed my cell phone and iPod and said goodbye to the staff, exiting through the doors that led to the parking lot. A guy around my age was walking up, so I hurriedly opened it, and then spun around so that I could hold it open for him. And that’s when he did it. He thanked me, and with a sneer, called me the worst 4 letter word imaginable. Alright, maybe I imagined the sneer. But I did not imagine the word. I had half a mind to let the door hit him on his way in, but refrained and continued to hold it open before walking to my car with half the energy as I had moments before.

We teach our kids the importance of watching their language. Four letter words result in mouths watched out with soap or noses stuck in the corner. The word I heard today was one I have heard uttered time and time again, but it never fails to alarm me whenever I do hear it. What was the word? Brace yourself…..

He called me “Ma’am”.

What was he thinking??? I mean, he was MY age! I wasn’t some aging crone who was holding on to the door with frail hands, my long gray hair blowing in the wind. How dare he utter that four letter word in my presence! Oh, I know what some of you men are thinking. Ma’am is a word of respect when you don’t know a lady’s name. Let me be the one to tell you, we women do not feel respected when we are called Ma’am. We feel old. There is nothing worse than having your groceries bagged at the checkout stand and having the kid who is not even young enough to be your child calling you Ma’am, and then asking if he can help you out to your car. I’m willing to understand that a gentleman that calls a lady Ma’am is not meaning any harm by it. But let me tell you, there are very little words that can make a girl feel worse about herself than this simple four letter word.

The first time I was called Ma’am, I was in my early 20’s. In my opinion, an early 20’s girl is not old enough to be a Ma’am. Hell, an early 30’s girl shouldn’t be called Ma’am. And when I am in my early 40’s, I will still feel the same way. We want to be called Miss. Even “honey” or “sweetie” or “beautiful goddess” is accepted. We want to be called anything you would deem respectable that isn’t “Ma’am”.

I was at the checkout stand recently, the last of my items being checked by a woman in her 50’s. “Do you want any cash back, young lady?” she asked me. My jaw dropped briefly and I turned to her and smiled.

“Oh, thank you!” I gushed. “Young lady is a much a nicer thing to call me than Ma’am,” I genuinely told her. For a moment I was in my early 20’s again, not an aging mother who may or may not need help taking her groceries to her car.

“Honey, Ma’am is my mother,” she told me.

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