However, when my boyfriend (a Pennsylvania native) and I were getting to know each other, he revealed that he had made use of online dating sites in the past as had many of the people he knew. When I expressed my mild shock he explained that where he was from people tended to be pretty busy, and getting out to places to meet other singles was often challenging…so it was a common and socially accepted form of trying to find someone to spend time with. Apparently, in tech-happy Japan, it is an even MORE ‘normal’ way to meet people…dating sites will be linked to youngster’s cell phones and if they are out and about and another site user that clicks with their profile is within a certain distance from them, a message will be sent to each of their phones alerting them to the potential dating prospect just a few feet away.

Regarding meeting people offline –bars are absolutely not the only other place to meet singles. I loved the comment I read in a well-known advice column years ago that warned a single seeking help that if she went to bars looking for men the men she found had a good chance of being heavy drinkers. If that’s not what you are looking for in a relationship, try going somewhere that suits your interests and the interests you are hoping to share: If you are athletic, you might meet a nice guy or girl out hiking or at the gym. If you are a theater enthusiast, maybe your soulmate will be in 3-F when you get a ticket for 3-H. Like sitting in coffee shops and being judgmental of other customers while you work on your Mac and discuss the economics of the underprivileged country in which your Kona blend was grown? Perhaps your pretentious paramour will walk in with an never-read copy of Kafka under his arm and sit down to discuss it with you in depth.

And a tip for the boys: geek girls are often a combination of awesome, smart, funny and cute…they hang out in libraries computer stores, ren faires and comic conventions. Don’t make sudden movements. They startle easily.

Gordon Scott Edwards www,gordonscottedwards.com