I had the neighbor kid over tonight. He’s a good kid, though sometimes he can be a little much to handle. He’s 8 years old, but light-years ahead of my son in the ways of the world. Truth is I love my son’s innocence. I love that he tries to act tough and like he knows so much, but he really isn’t as well versed as other kids when it comes to issues like sex and violence. I thank the fact that I am too stingy with my money to get cable for the house. While other kids are getting an early education from TV shows and commercials, my son is watching the same tired videos over and over again – naively happy.

“Oh yeah,” the neighbor kid said as he picked up my Shape magazine with Heidi Klum on the cover. “Jessica Simpson. She’s so hot.”

“That’s Heidi Klum, kid. And how do you figure she’s hot?” I asked him. Did I mention this kid was 8?

“She just is,” he said. “Look, it even says so on the cover. It says ‘Sexy’,” and he started laughing. My son was totally loving the way this kid was pushing the envelope, even though he had no idea what this kid was talking about.

“Kid, how do you figure she’s sexy?” I asked him. And he went on about her body and her breasts….and did I mention that this kid was 8????? Anyway, I figured out that this kid really had no idea what he was talking about either, but was looking for a way to get a laugh by being “bad”.

“Kid, how would you feel if some man was saying things like that about your mother?” I asked him.

“My dad tells my mom that she’s sexy.”

“That’s different. That’s his wife. But what if some other man were saying that about your mom? Would you like that?”

“No,” he said honestly.

“Well that woman there is a mother, and she’s a wife. And to talk about a woman like that is disrespectful. So don’t let me hear you talk like that again.”

The kid put down the magazine.

The conversations continued amongst the kids, though this time turning to relationships. The boys talked about crushes they had on girls (yes, it does start this early. Luckily with boys, they forget about girls around 9 and then remember them again around 13. Girls, on the other hand, are always boy crazy). And my 11 year old daughter chimed in on her crushes. She was asked if she had ever kissed a boy by “the kid”, and she said no. But she hid her face when she said it.

Oh. My. Jeez. She kissed a boy.

Just last school year my daughter was a shy and obedient child. She still had that little girl look to her and everything. Over the summer, however, she blossomed into this tall and willowy creature. She went from wearing baggy, unkempt clothes to wearing skinny jeans and tight t-shirts. Her messy hair suddenly framed her face beautifully. Yesterday I even caught her wearing some of my mascara as I dropped her off at school. I look at her now and see her more as a teenager heading towards adulthood and less as a roly poly toddler clinging to my knees. In short, my little girl has grown up.

Shortly after giving herself away (“You kissed a boy! Didn’t you!” “I did not! Well, maybe….”), she disappeared upstairs to play on the computer. I let her have privacy, but then pounced once the neighbor kid (thank God!) went home.

“So when was it? Who was it with? Was it this year? Why didn’t you tell me?” I never really was good at playing it cool and tricking her into telling me the truth.

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” she said. I tried my hardest to pry it out of her.

“You know you’re too young to kiss,” I said.

“I don’t want to talk about this,” she said.

“It’s just that kissing is reserved for special people, and when we’re in love.”

“Mom, leave me alone.”

“And you’re too young to be kissing boys, because kissing can lead to other things, things you’re not ready for.” Alright, even I could hear my own mother in that one.

“Mother!”

“Your tongues didn’t touch did they? Please tell me that your tongues didn’t touch.”

“Mother! Gross! No, that never happened! Now leave me alone!”

I stopped talking for awhile and just looked at her. She did her best to ignore me, which she is actually pretty good at. And I looked at her. When did her jaw become so straight? When did she lose all the baby fat? How the heck did she become this beautiful??? I felt a little left out. This was my little girl that used to tell me everything. And I mean EVERYTHING. And suddenly I was the last to know that she had already had her first kiss. When she was young, I’d had visions of her sharing these first special moments with me once they happened. I figured that the first time she held hands with someone she’d come home, climb into my lap, and tell me all about the boy that had stolen her heart just by saying her name. But even I had to let go of those fantasies and come back down to reality. I mean, how often did I really confide in my mom? I was lucky my daughter had shared as much as she had with me in all her 11 years.

“I remember my first kiss,” I told her softly. She perked up a little, but continued playing her game. I noticed she was listening and was strategic as I went on. “Let’s see, what age was I? Oh yeah, I was…..nevermind. You don’t want to hear about this.” She smirked.

“You’re right, I don’t.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later,” I said as I made my way downstairs.

“How old were you?” she asked.

“No, you don’t want to hear about this,” I said, still leaving.

“How old were you?”

I laughed. “I was 13 and in 7th grade.” She stopped what she was doing and listened. “He was a grade lower than me, but only a week younger than me. I had the hugest crush on him. Anyway, we were with a bunch of friends and we all started playing Truth or Dare. They dared him to kiss me. And he did. And I thought it was disgusting and slimy and gross.” She laughed, making a face at the description. “We became boyfriend and girlfriend. And we went out for three whole days. And then he dumped me for some other girl.” She shook her head in disbelief.

“I know how that goes,” she said.

“Yeah, boys that age are all the same.” She nodded in agreement. I couldn’t help but continue my interrogation. “So was it this year that you kissed a boy?” I asked. She shook her head. “Last year?” No. “The year before that?” No. “Come on, can’t you just tell me?” I asked her.

“It was in 3rd grade.”

Seriously? I was sitting here looking at my daughter as if she had lost all her innocence over a 3rd grade puppy love infatuation? She was practically a toddler when this happened! But just to be sure…..

“Do you swear you never kissed a boy this year, or since then?”

“Yes, Mom,” she said, like I was the child and she was the adult. And I believed her.

“Well, you’re still too young to be kissing boys,” I said. She gave me ‘the look’. “I’m just saying.”

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Tags kids, tween, WC Mom stories | Category Case of the Terrible Tweens