“What would you do with a million dollars?” he asked.  We were playing the dream game, one of our favorites since we knew it was never going to happen.  But it was still fun to play, nonetheless. 

I had only thought about it a million times, one thought for each dollar.  And I had it mapped out completely.  Among getting a new house and car, the biggest plan I had would be losing my address and taking the kids out of school so we could live in a couple different countries for 3 or 4 month stays, inspired by the book, Eat. Pray. Love. by Elizabeth Gilbert.  We would bring along a tutor so they could be “home” schooled, but they would get the best education in the world as they SAW the world.

“That will make it kind of hard for us to visit each other,” Mr. Wonderful pointed out.  And I realized that the plans I made were still my single girl dreams, not including him in the least.  We started talking about the houses we would have, and he described his.  And I added my own personal touches to it.  And our views differed several different times.  And we both realized at the same time that we were bordering on future talk we were not ready to discuss, fantasy or not.  We don’t live together now.  While we would spend every waking moment with each other if we could, we enjoy having our own separate living spaces and relish our alone time.  And with only 7 ½ months under our belt, any talk about being more committed than we already were was an uncomfortable subject.

Thing is, in the world of single parenting, the future is always on our minds.  It is on his, and it is on mine.  And as much as we are adamant about not rushing into anything for the sake of our once broken hearts and the hearts of our kids, we wouldn’t even be in a relationship if we didn’t see something of a possibility for the future.  And it is both terrifying and exhilarating to admit that in our hearts and timidly out loud.

And we’re not the only ones who are thinking about the future.  This morning my son was reading the newspaper and came across a story about a dysfunctional married couple.  And he said that he hoped he never married someone like that. 

“Me too,” I agreed.

“But Mom, Mr. Wonderful would never be like that!” he exclaimed.

“Honey, who says that Mr. Wonderful and I are ever going to get married?” I asked him.  And he backtracked.  But I knew it was unfair to even pretend that he shouldn’t be thinking about that, because any man who enters my life holds the possibility of being his stepfather in his mind.  And knowing my son, he has tried out the position on every man that I have deemed worthy enough to meet him.

Dating as a single parent is a whole heck of a lot more complicated than just dating.  There are more than just two hearts involved.  I know I have broken my kids’ hearts several times when I said goodbye to former Mr. Less than Wonderfuls.  And I do hope that I am done breaking their hearts, that my heart stays intact, and so does his.  Only time will tell where this is headed. 

And so far it has been a lovely ride.